Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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