Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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