I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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