Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
