it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
