The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
