I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize