i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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