I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
