Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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