Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
