He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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