i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
