Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
