Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
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On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
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Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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