Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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