bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I believe in your delicious
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
