OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼‍♀️
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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