Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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