The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
