super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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