They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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