I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
