she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
