you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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