my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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