And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I see more hoeing in ur future
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