Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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