You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
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No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
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I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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