The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
