its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
