Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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