But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
