I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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