he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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