She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
