Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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