So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I will pee on everything he values.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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