I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
