I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize