Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
