i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
