Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize