No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
