I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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