thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
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i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
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