I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
