Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
