I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
a search helicopter?!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
