i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
