Your face is a jimmy john
420 ftw
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
nutella sex= disaster
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
