The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have fence marks all over my body
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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