2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
