I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
