My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
