Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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