The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just cropdusted the office
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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