Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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